Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Untitled #31

This week I have been working mostly on Non So Piu.  My main concern is the elisions... I think that's what they're called.  All those words jumbled together just get me all sorts of confused.  I'm not very fast when it comes to regular speaking anyhow.  Never was good at them tongue twisters... My plan of action however is to slow it down considerably and speak the words in rhythm like we do in lessons.  Then as I get better, I will bring up the tempo more and more and more until it's where it is supposed to be.  I don't think memory will be much of an issue because so much of the words are the same and the notes aren't an issue either.  I feel like I have a pretty solid grasp on the melody.  I am excited to have it all perfected because I want to become Cherubino! As I listen to my recording, I can almost picture the character and what kind of movements "he" is making and what his expressions are.  I want to do that too! In my mind, it is exciting and something I want to become successful at.  I feel like I have the guns for it...I just need to fill up on my ammo so I can really put on a show.  After today's recital I felt like the more confident I feel about the song, and the stronger I become about putting aside my own insecurities, the better I do on stage.  My insecurities are petty and it is immature to bring them on stage.  What really kick started this was Phils quote about bowing after a performance.  An audience applauds in appreciation of your performance.  It's their way of saying thank you.  My bowing is thanking them for being so polite and my way of showing appreciation for them.  I never want my audience (or anyone) to think of me as disrespectful.  I want to have a good professional stage presence.  There are a few things I'll have to work on, but I see victory in plain sight.  Meanwhile, I am also preparing O del mio dolce for the studio recital and Aus Meinen Grossen Schmertzen for next week.  Thank you for everything!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Untitled #30

Last week I have been working on Non so Piu and Reward.  Mainly Reward because I am supposed to be singing it tomorrow for recital and its good to get one more memorized I guess.  The main problems I am experiencing at the moment would be all the words smashed into a couple of notes with the Non So Piu.  Its like one huge run-on tongue twister.  I feel like my problem might be too much tension, and lack of preparation. I feel like if I keep practicing a few spots, like start out slow and get faster and faster as I improve, then those places with wordiness won't be so bad.  Another thing is the pronunciation.  Sometimes I move too quickly from one vowel to the next and sometimes I don't move fast enough.  With your guidance, Dr.H, I will figure this out.  I'm sure we will discuss it more during lessons.  Thankyou so much for everything!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Untitled #29

Uhg.... I'm so glad that I had spring break but I am also very glad that it is over.  I will be honest.  I really didn't focus much of my time on my vocal repertoire.  When I wasn't working at Dairy Queen, I was practicing for my piano midterm and working on my conducting project.  Like I mentioned in my last post, I have been feeling very overwhelmed.  I am pleased to say that after break got over, I felt very accomplished.  Before break, I didn't know any of my major or minor cadences and I felt totally lost when it came to conducting my piece.  I didn't even know where to begin to work with any of it.  Now, I feel quite confident about my piano final :)  I learned all my major and minor cadences (with the help of Amanda! Couldn't have done it without her!), most of my major scales and my piano repertoire has come a long ways since the week before.  As for my conducting...I don't know exactly what happened there...but for some reason I am not as afraid as I was before.  It's like the ideas just dawned on me Sunday night.  All last week I had been agonizing over my score trying to pull something out of nothing and finally the night before school was supposed to start, something clicked.  I wouldn't say I am completely confident with it, but at least I have a better idea of what I'm doing and what I want to do with my music.  I'll just keep truckin along:)  This has nothing to do with voice lessons though so I will just tell you what I actually did work on for my vocal repertoire.  I want you to know that I had full intentions of working more on Non so Piu Cosa Son, but I didn't.  Last week, I focused mostly on Aus Meinen Grossen Schmentzen simply because it is a short song and mentally less daunting to tackle.  The biggest obstacle I came across was wanting to let my voice go too heavy.  It was hard not to let it drop into my chest voice and keep control of it.  When I came to the lower parts I lost support a lot of the time and my vibrato would get super loose it felt like.  I wasn't so sure that was a healthy thing.  I didn't want it to get to throaty and dark so I tried making it a little brighter and focusing the sound more forward.  I definitively got the sound you would have expected.  It was brighter and skinnier, but I didn't like it for the song.  The song is dark and kind of sad.  Is it supposed to sound that way in the voice or should the voice be skinny and more forward anyways?  Or is there a mixture of both??? I feel like there is a certain sound I should have that isn't too much of either one.  I feel like there is a happy medium to be achieved but I'm not quite sure what that is.  The vocalist in the recording I am listening to has a very heavy voice.  I like how she sounds and I have been trying to replicate it in a way that is my own but I'm not sure if I can pull it off like she can.  I don't even know if what she is doing is vocally possible or healthy for me.  Maybe I can, I just haven't uncovered that potential of my voice yet...maybe I never will...

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Untitled #28

This week I have been doing a lot of "mush-mouth" singing and trying to be more conscious of how open my mouth is and how tense my jaw is.  I've been doing those stretches every time before I practice or sing and choir and it is wonderful.  I enjoy it so much it almost puts me to sleep because I am so relaxed.  I've been improving my lyrics and my memory on O Del Mio Dolce Ardor. I've also been trying to be more conscious of my mouth shape/space when I sing my vowels.  I don't understand why its so hard.  It doesn't seem like such a big thing...working on mouth space.  I just hate how weak it feels and then it makes me push, which isn't good either.  I just feel like I can't find a happy medium.  My jaw hurts when I hold it wide open through an entire song and I know if that's good either but I don't know if I'm just doing it wrong or if it'll go away with time and I'll just get used to it.  Ive been working on reward and this little rose.  Just the technical stuff mainly.  I've really been trying to conduct myself through it.  I don't know if I'm doing it right.  Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth it because I always end up getting off the beat.  I just feel like I'm waving my arm around for no apparent reason even though I need to do it.  I'm concentrating more on what my arm is doing than whats going on in the music and I miss stuff.  Obviously, doing two things at once is impossible for me.  It's so frustrating! I must be stupid or something! No one else seems to have the amount of problems and frustrations I feel right now!  I just feel like I'm not at the level I should be.  I cant even count or read music or conduct a simple stupid piece of music or play the piano or sing right!  Maybe I'm not meant for this music stuff. Uhg! Sometimes I'd rather jump off a building because I just feel so nervous/self-conscious and inadequate.  When I was younger I never cared about that stuff and now it scares me so bad.  I'll never give up I just feel like I changed and I don't know what to do about it.  Why do I care so much now?  Its good to care but it feels like it isn't helping me so much right now.  Its okay though...after spring break is over I will feel differently about it.  I'll be back to being cheerful again.  Sorry, I got off topic! I've been working more on the technical parts of reward and this little rose.  There are a few note confusions I have in this little rose and a few rhythm parts I need to work on especially.  I've also been writing the IPA for those two songs.  That'll help me prepare for my midterms in diction too:)